Archive for September, 2011

5 minutes

Posted: September 27, 2011 in Uncategorized

What would happen if you just discovered that we had only five minutes left before it was just all over. That there was only five more minutes to say all that we wanted to say and do all that we wanted to do. What would you do? What would you say? What would be your final moments if you only had five minutes left to live?

5 minutes
Maybe I’m on the phone calling every members in my family to tell them how much I love them so much and how sorry am I for every single mistake I’ve done. Not to forget I’ll ask them not to be so sad about my departure because my spirit will always be with them and I’ll always guard them from above.

4 minutes
Maybe I’m telling my boyfriend about my departure and how glad am I for meeting him in my life and thanking him for everything.  Telling him how much I love him and wanting him in my life.  Praying that he’ll meet someone else that will occupy his heart like I did.

3 minutes
Maybe I’m with my best friend. Telling her how glad am I to meet such a great friend like her in my whole life and how much I love her like my own sister. Hoping that she’ll not be so sad because I’ll always watching and guarding her from above. Asking for her forgiveness and telling her how sorry am I for everything happen between us.

2 minutes
Maybe I’m holding someone’s hand that I love so much. To give me strength to face the death. To be there for me but not to cry for me but to smile with me till the end of the time. Thinking what will happen to me after I die.

1 minutes
Maybe I’m hugging tight someone that I love so much till the end of the time. Thinking how my life will end so soon…

Advertisements

I Still Can’t…

Posted: September 24, 2011 in Uncategorized

I still can’t love him the way I love you,

I still can’t trust him the way I trust you,

I still can’t believe in him the way I always believe in you,

I know I don’t deserve you and I’ll never will,

Maybe it takes time or maybe I still can’t forget you,

Maybe I still don’t get over you,

May someday I’ll totally get over you and forgot everything about you,

May GOD will help me to get through this test of life,

Because sometimes I can’t handle it alone,

And no one can’t be there for me. 

e.L.y.F.j.k.  

My Favourite Secret…

Posted: September 24, 2011 in Uncategorized

Pretend like nothing and lying to u are the best things I can do now,

I didn’t mean to hurt you but I just try to get over you my dear,

I hate to think about us even as friends,

Because it still hurt me so much my dear,

And knowing you still with the person I hate the most and it makes me so sad,

But I know you love that person so much,

I can’t do anything about that and I don’t want to say anything about it,

You know what my dear, 

I can’t see through your eyes anymore because I try to get over it,

I can’t care you like I do before because I don’t want to be too much with you anymore,

I’m not as caring and concern as before because I know you’ll always be okay without me,

I know I’m not normal my dear,

But I don’t want to be like this too,

And I don’t want to feel like this too,

Having him is not the reason I’m not as close as before to you,

I just trying my best to get over you my dear,

Forgive me if I did hurt you again because I didn’t mean it,

Because you’re the one I once love and care so much in my life,

To get over with you is the second hardest thing to be done,

After trying my best to get rid of the feeling I’ve got towards you,

Nothing will change even though you know about this my dear,

And it’s better if you didn’t know about this,

I’ve no one else to share this but only to my blog,

You’re the person I trust the most but I can’t tell you this,

Because this story is about us my dear and I don’t to lose you again,

I keep the secret sealed and you’re my favourite secret I like to keep.

e.L.y.F.j.k.

Lately…

Posted: September 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

I know lately I’m being weird and only you can feel it,
I’m sorry if lately I’m not as caring as before,
Sorry if I’m not as close as before,
Sorry if lately I’m not used to be someone you know so well,
Sorry if my actions are not as expected anymore,
Sorry because I’m putting the boundaries in the between,
Sorry because I can’t keep my promise to you anymore,
I’m less caring,
I’m less concern,
I’m less being with you,
I’m less protective,
I start treating you fairly like the others,
And I start not to be too much with you,
The ONLY reason I’m doing all these is because I want to get over you,
 For you’re the only one that had been my great weakness…

e.L.y.F.j.k. 

100 truths…

Posted: September 19, 2011 in Uncategorized

I found this at my friend’s blog and it look interesting to be answered…^_^… So here it ‘s…jeng-jeng-jeng~~~

WHAT WAS YOUR:

1. Last beverage: hot milk
2. Last phone call: F*****
3. Last text message: F*****
4. Last song you listened to: The Phantom of Opera
5. Last time you cried: Not so sure…hehe…I quite happy nowadays…

HAVE YOU EVER:

6. Dated someone: of course la i did…
7. Been cheated on: cheated on?…ehmmm, yup…
8. Kissed someone & regretted it: nope,  i still got my first kiss tau…haha…
9. Lost someone special: ehmmm, quite… i dont lost that person actually, it just i can’t be with that person…
10. Been depressed: im an ordinary person…of course i am…n i don’t like being depress at all…
11. Been drunk and threw up: i dont drink..so, never la…hehehe…

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:

12. of course RED…
13. Black
14. White

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2011)

15. Made a new friend: yup…a lot of new friends =)
17. Laughed until you *nearly* cried: many times..uncounted times…people in my life owez make me happy… =)
18. Met someone who changed you: yeah…someone i once love n care so much… =(
19. Found out who your true friends were: Yup. im a complicated person n not many can endure me…hehe..
20. Found out someone was talking about you: Yeah, some good things n some bad things…but it dont bother me at all… =)
21. Kissed anyone on your friend’s list: nope la…
22. How many people on your friends list *fb* do you know in real life: maybe 80%
23. How many kids do you want to have: i dont like to have many naughty child of mine…maybe 2 0r 4…hihi
24. Do you have any pets: I really wish to have a Kwai-kwai ( a name i’ll give to my little tortoise ), n a really fat cat…ahaha…
25. Do you want to change your name: Never! only me using ellyfamela name in this world…i’ve google my name n none have d same name like mine… =)
26. What did you do for your last birthday: celebrate it with my beloved roomates but without “my beluved evil”…hukhukhuk…
27. What time did you wake up today: 05:10 am. hehe. so early right ? 🙂
28. What were you doing at midnight last night : it’s my sleeping time, so of course i was sleeping..
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for: I cant wait to be slim n meet my Mr. Right….ngehehe… =)
30. Last time you saw your Mother: the day i go back to kedah at airport…i miss my mum…huhu…
31.What is the one thing you want to change about your life: I just want to be better person from times to times…
32. What are you listening to right now: the sound of the fan….hehe…
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: i think…nope..
34. What’s getting on your nerves right now: my love life…so complicated…so confusing…
35. Most visited webpage: 1.facebook, 2.youtube, 3.boardofwisdom, 4.my blog….
36. Whats your real name: you know my name…no need for me to tell it again…hahaha…
37. Nicknames: So many…famela, mela, mel, elfa, ella, elly, ell, udeng (my nickname at home….hehe)… =)
38. Relationship Status: IT’S COMPLICATED.
39. Zodiac sign: Im a gemini…
40. Male or female: Female
41: Primary School : SK. Kayangat (with my dad as d headmaster during that time)..i luv it…hehe…
42. High School : SMK Tenghilan (my mom work here)…my mom take care everything for me…hehe..anak manja kan…
43. College: KPPAS… place with full of disappointments…
44. Hair color: naturally black lor…
45. Long or short: short, i wish i’ll have long hair in d future esp. during my wedding…hehehe..
46. Height: 159cm
47. Do you have a crush on someone: yup, n it did make me so crazy…
48: What do you like about yourself: I love EVERYTHING about myself…
49. Piercings: both ears
50. Tattoos: None but i wish i can make one in d future…if my parents allow me…hehe
51. Righty or lefty: right handed…

FIRSTS :

52. First surgery: never
53. First piercing: ears
54. First best friend: I cant remember but i’ve a lot of best friends n i found only one true friend that had change my life…
55. First sport you joined: im an athlete since i was in primary school…
56. First vacation: forgot la…i dont like to travel b4 this…
58. First pair of trainers: ntah la….not sure…

RIGHT NOW

59. Eating: nope, it’s too late to grab something to eat
60. Drinking: nope…
61. Doing: lying on my bed n finishing this…
62. Listening to: Fan sound…haha…
63. Waiting on: text or call from him…hehe…

YOUR FUTURE :

65. Get Married: long way to go…
66. Career: AMO…

WHICH IS BETTER :

67. Lips or eyes: can i have both….hehe…greedy…
68. Hugs or kisses: i want both…=)
69. Shorter or taller: i prefer taller…
70. Older or Younger: age is not a big mattter…
71. Romantic or spontaneous: i want romantic…bcoz im a romantic person…hahaha…
72. Nice stomach or nice arms: ehmmm, both la juga…hehe..
73. Sensitive or loud: sensitive…
74. Hook-up or relationship: relationship la…
75. Trouble maker or hesitant: ?

HAVE YOU EVER :

76. Kissed a stranger: nope n i dont want to…
77. Drank hard liquor: maybe….haha…
78. Lost glasses/contacts: never…
79. Sex on first date: im still a pure virgin…
80. Broken someone’s heart: Yes, no, maybe. I’m sorry.
82. Been arrested: nope…but if he arrest me, i like la…hahaha…
83. Turned someone down: I luv n care about u so much but i still hurt u…im sorry…=(
84. Cried when someone died: not yet…i rather die 1st than seeing people that i love die…i cant endure that….
85. Fallen for a friend: yes…

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

86. Yourself: yes, of course i am!
87. Miracles: yeah!!!
88. Love at first sight: nope.it’s not easy 4 me to love someone i barely know…
89. Heaven: yes…
90. Santa Claus: Sorry…no…
91. Kiss on the first date: not yet..but want to try in d future…hahaha…
92. Angels: YES…

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:

94. Had more than 1 girlfriend/boyfriend at a time: nope..im a loyal person…buli pecaya ka ni statement nie…haha..
95. Did you sing today: no…but i did humming…
96. Ever cheated on somebody: yes n sometimes i do it bcoz i dont want to hurt people…
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go: i’ll go back to the time where i meet with that person n make things right from the start…
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be: a night with that person… =)
99. Are you afraid of falling in love?: sometimes…bcoz im afraid being hurt…
100. Posting this as 100 truths? : yup!!! =)

finally i made it…yahooo!!!!!…hehe…

Posted: September 17, 2011 in Uncategorized

I test you many times without you realize and sadly to say you always fail in it. It’s not that you never be up enough to my standard but it shows that you never care and love me like I do to you.

Posted: September 16, 2011 in Uncategorized

‎”I care the wrong person and I still care about that person until now because I haven’t meet yet someone else worth enough to be cared.”

‎~~~I’m not good in showing my feeling and sometimes I really don’t know how to show it. But the truth is I always craving for your attention and your care. I ask nothing from you but that. Because just having it can complete my life.~~~

 ‎ ‎”Sometimes, the best way to stay close to someone you love is by being just a friend.”

Posted: September 13, 2011 in Uncategorized

I don’t know why this is happening to me,
I can’t handle myself and I don’t understand myself.
I think I came to this state because I can’t handle my feeling anymore,
I unable to accept the truth about us,
I don’t know how to say this but the truth is I still cant get over you,
It was only you in my mind now and it’s all about you,
I love you so much and it consumes me,
We did have such a great time together and share feelings,
Which has made me having such a great crush to you,
Only to you I confess my real feeling,
Only you have been my great weakness until now,
Only you have seen my real attitude,
Only you I  ever cry about  and be stupid for many times,
If only I didnt being close to you I’ll never be in this great burden,
But if only I didnt know you I’ll never  know what love is all about,
Even though I did experience it in the wrong way,
Every time I try to get over you I always fail,
Because you’re so undeniable,
I’m so sorry the way I act and behave lately,
I’m sorry for who am I now,
If only I able to get you for the rest of my life I’ll never be like this,
I’ll fight for your love until I get it no matter what,
But God create me just like you and I can’t have you more than it should,
Maybe I’m out my mind,
But I still know the limit and the boundaries between us,
I can’t ask more from you because you’ll never give it to me,
I gave you everything you want and I almost give you my everything,
If only we could spend our few left time together,
If only we could create more memories and special moments together,
If only I can touch you like before,
I think I’ll be fine,
At least at the end of time I can always keep the memories about us for the rest of my life.

e.L.y.F.j.k.