Archive for October, 2014




Posted: October 28, 2014 in Life, Love
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I thought that I’ll not be nervous around you anymore,
I thought that your smile doesn’t makes me flutter anymore,
I thought that your voice doesn’t makes me speechless anymore,
I thought that I’ll not be amazed or stunned by your personality anymore,
I thought that your smell doesn’t makes me high anymore,
I thought that I’ll not be addicted to your mischievous sides anymore,
I thought that your presence doesn’t affect me anymore,
But unfortunately I’m still affected with everything of you,
And that makes me so scared and afraid the past will repeat itself,
Because I rather not to be with you than losing you completely.

Just too much…

Posted: October 26, 2014 in Life, Love
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Years ago I’ve said ‘I love you’ to you,
After years I still love you,
I love you so much,
Just too much and it consumes me,
It hurts me a lot when at the end it wasn’t me,
You choose someone else over me,
You broke my heart into pieces,
I barely can live my life,
What would I do to stay alive?,
Because I can see myself is dying everyday without you,
I’m no longer me without you,
When you went away from me,
You took half of my life together with you,
You’re the one who completes my life,
Now I don’t see my life going anywhere,
I feel like a crap everytime I see the reflection of me in the mirror,
I see someone helpless in that reflection with burden shows in her eyes,
I feel like losing my mind,
I don’t know how much longer I can stand this pain,
It just hurts so much.

Sad truth…

Posted: October 25, 2014 in Life
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Are you happy?

Posted: October 24, 2014 in Friendship, Life, Love
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I saw you today,
You saw us; me holding hands with someone,
You tried to smile; faked smile,
I expect to see you at my wedding,
I guess it still hurts for you to see me,
You didn’t show up but you still wish me in your postcard,
I wonder how have you been,
It has been a long time since we meet each other,
Are you still the same person I know before?
I know I made you vulnerable and I gave you the worst pain,
You’re nowhere to be found since the day we broke up,
I’m really sorry for everything,
I wish we didn’t end that way,
For years I lived with guilt,
What have I done to the precious relationship with the person I treasure the most?
I don’t want to be selfish and have the feeling to have you back,
Because I’m officially taken,
Years without you letting me meet someone new,
And it’s too late for us,
No matter what past is past,
Everything happens for reasons,
That’s what you always said to me when we’re still together,
I hope you’ll be happy with your life now,
I hope you’ll find you own happiness,
I hope you’ll find someone that deserve you,
I hope one day when we meet again,
We’ll be smiling to each other with real smiles.

You met someone else,
You settled down with that person,
I guess you finally get over me,
I heard that you’re happy now,
I’m sorry I can’t be at your wedding,
I just don’t want my presence ruins your best day,
How could I not be happy for you?
You deserve a better person who will loves you completely,
I’m sorry for everything,
I’m just your past now,
I’ll be no longer your important person,
I’m so happy to see again your genuine smile plastered on your lips since the last time we met and broke up,
I’m happy that you’ve got someone to rely on and will be there for you,
I’m no longer the reason of your happiness and it gives me pain when someone else did,
But I’ll not be selfish this time,
If your happiness gives pain to my heart,
I’m willing to endure that pain as long as you’re happy,
I’ll not fight for you this time because I don’t have the right anymore to do so,
You’re officially belong to someone else,
I can see the person loves you so much and maybe that person will take care you better than I am,
I know I’m being so stupid for letting you slipped away from me and it’s too late for me to get you back,
I hope someday I meet someone new and fall in love again,
I hope someday I’ll be able to settle down and be truly happy without faking smile anymore,
Because I know you’re hoping the same thing for me,
But for now I’ll disappearing from your sight,
With hope next time when we meet again I’ll be completely get over you and be able to face you with no more hard feeling,
No matter how distance we’re to each other,
I’ll be happy for you and that’s is my promise to you,
Always pictured me smiling everytime you’re worrying about this stupid friend of yours,
My prayers will always be with you.

Why did you?

Posted: October 22, 2014 in Love
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You’re no longer around,
Why did you leave me?
I miss you,
I miss talking to you,
I miss your warmth,
I miss everything about you,
Why did you ignore me?
You promised me that you’ll stay,
You promised me that you’ll fight for us,
You promised me that you’ll never give up on us,
You promised me that you’ll always be there for me,
Why did you break your promises?
You’re no longer there when I need you,
You don’t care about me anymore,
You don’t love me anymore,
You don’t want to see me anymore,
Why did you hurt me so much?
I don’t know you anymore,
I don’t know why did you start doing things that you know I don’t like,
I don’t understand you anymore,
Why did you change?
You hurt me in the most painful way,
You make me cry for uncounted sleepless nights,
You kill inside of me,
You really broke my heart this time,
How could you do all those things to me?
Why did you?