Archive for January, 2015

What Love Can Do

Posted: January 28, 2015 in Life, Love
Tags: , , ,

We were once together, but not anymore,
Maybe we do not belong to each other,
But if only I choose not to be with you from the start,
I will never know how does it feels to fall in love,
I will never know what is love all about,
I will never know the truth when people keep saying that love can make you crazy,
I will never know what I’m capable to do when it comes to love,
I will never know my limit at the times I almost lose control,
I will never know what love can do to me.

Sometimes I regret for the hurtful memories we had,
Because it makes me feel so stupid and immature,
But sometimes I feel glad it actually happens,
Because it was the best lesson that life had given to me.

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It has been almost five years and half a year if I’m not mistaken,
But the day I officially talk to you feels just like yesterday,
It was a long journey for us to reach where we are now,
What a wonderful and incredible friendship we have,
We had a complicated friendship at the beginning,
And there were some periods we lost contact because of our mistakes,
But as time goes by,
I learn more from so called life and I guess you too,
Our friendship is getting stronger,
In the past,
I didn’t know what to label us,
Because we act neither like friends nor lovers,
We’re so close and that closeness confuses me,
But now it was a different story.

I can say we are best friends for real,
But even with all the chemistry we have,
Sometimes I still feel afraid to be too close to you,
You might find it strange but that’s the truth,
I really appreciate you in my life and I don’t dare to lose you again,
I don’t think I can bare with the emptiness in me again when you’re not there,
I know you never really leave me at the times I’m pushing you away.

I just don’t want things back to what we hated the most in the past,
Where things were so complicated,
When feelings get too attached,
When the longing for you become too strong,
When I lose my mind again,
When I lose control on my own feelings,
Most of all I’m afraid I’ll mess again and worst I’ll hurt you.

I wish I didn’t feel anything for you anymore,

But here I am struggling with the same emotion again and again,

I accidentally saw the picture of us,

It’s the picture of us smiling and having a good time together,

People who saw the picture surely can see how happy we were together in the past,

But weirdly now it makes my heart aches,

I never neither hate you nor mad at you,

It’s just I’m so disappointed for not being enough for you,

That makes you choose someone else over me,

I thought that everything that I’ve done for you is enough to show how much I love you,

But I guess it didn’t,

Maybe you see something more in that person which I lack of it,

If just by seeing your picture can hurt me,

I wonder what will happen to me if I see you with someone else in real,

Will I be able to handle myself from running to you?

Or will I be able to resist and just holding in the feeling?

It has been years,

But my heart still can’t let you go,

I thought that if I delete every single picture of you will make my feelings disappear,

But the truth is,

The pictures of us flash in my mind can never be removed in any way,

And it’s just the act of denial that I’ve been doing for years,

Because the feeling is still there and will always be there,

As much I want you back,

I never plan either to cross the line or step on the boundaries,

Because you’re no longer mine and worst you belong to someone else.

One Last Time

Posted: January 1, 2015 in Life, Love, Relationship
Tags: , , , , , ,

Here you are right in my arms,
We fit perfectly to each other with not even a slight gap between us,
Let me devour you in and out just for tonight,
This will be the last time we will be together,
A sinful night that is so wrong but at the same time feels so right,
The reason is so obvious where the love conquers everything,
We both know we were like the heaven and hell,
We will never be together no matter what,
The longing for you never feels this strong,
When I feel like crazy everytime you were around me,
I wish life is not being cruel to us,
I never feel as excited as tonight,
And I also never feel as emotional as tonight,
Just by thinking about tomorrow make me feel like dying,
I will never be able to reach you anymore,
How can I live without you in my life?
How can I try to live just by holding to the memories only?
How can I live with such a painful broken heart?
I promise you that I will learn to move on,
Which I surely can never do.

So tonight please let me have you for the last time,
Let me give you my all,
Let me show you how much I love you,
Let me cry in your arms,
Let me claim you for the last time,
Let me mark you deep into your soul,
Lets tonight be the most memorable night for us.