Archive for the ‘Life’ Category


Posted: September 2, 2018 in Life, Love, Relationship
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So many people together, but not in love.

So many people in love, but not together.


No one knows…

Posted: September 2, 2018 in God, Life, Love, Relationship
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Nobody has to know how many days and nights I pray to the Lord to help to get through my toughest time. It’s not easy. It’s so hard where many times I feel like I’m falling deeper into my deepest sorrow. Everyday is a struggle to me. Too many times I feel I can’t do it anymore and the only thing I can think of is to die. I thought that death is the answer to my pain. I feel hopeless, I gave up and I can’t think straight or be positive anymore. All I want at that moment is to stop all the pain. It hurts so much and worse I hate myself and I blame myself for everything that happened. Almost every night I cry alone in my room while hugging tight to my bolster. I bring it closer to my face to cover up my sobbing sound. Every morning, I woke up with sunken eyes. Nobody dares to ask since I started to distance myself from the others. I feel angry and down all the time. I feel so fragile and vulnerable. I look like a mess and I realize it, but it just I can’t do the right things for myself. I don’t know what to feel. At one point, I feel so numb; to everything surround me. I feel I can’t be saved anymore. Everyday I pray hard even I don’t have faith anymore during that time.

Everything has changed now. I never feel better than the person I am now. It is a new start for me. Thank you God for listening to my prayers and show me your compassion. I’ll do better this time with You in me, God. I am counting every single blessing in my life now.


Posted: September 2, 2018 in Life, Love, Relationship
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Maybe there’s a thought come to your mind why I always ready to leave, come back, but never stay for real.

” I’m toxic to you. I don’t know how to stay beside you and don’t get hurt. As much as I want to stay, when the pain suddenly show up, it still hurts so much. I’m so selfish that I still want you. “

Posted: August 12, 2017 in Friendship, Life, Love, Relationship

#11082017 #youarethebestthingthateverhappeninmylife

One day…

Posted: June 7, 2017 in Life

One day you will miss me for everything. Many times you will try to find me in every person you meet, but I couldn’t be found. One day you will miss my care and my love; the ones that I keep telling you again and again that you deserve it. One day when you are sick, you will remember the times I’m always there to take care of you and how I handle your tantrum. One day you will miss my cooking. I’m not a 5 star chef, but I know many times my cooking makes you smile widely and your tummy happy. One day you will miss seeing me standing in the kitchen and cooking for you, while waiting for you back from work. One day when you get so tired and don’t have the energy to wake up, you will remember the times I always come to you and do things for you. One day when you’re sick or having sore throat, you will remember the times I always bring water to you. One day you will remember the times I dry your hair and do your nails. One day when you’ve muscle sore from working too much, you will remember the times I massage you to make you feel better. One day you will miss my snoring. One day you will longing for my hug. One day you will miss my warmth when you feel cold. One day you will miss having ride with me and Mr.Black. One day you will remember the times we go shopping together. One day you will miss the times I always be there for you and keep coming back to you. I hope you will remember and miss only the good thing about me and us.

You will never meet someone like me ever again. You will never find or see me in any person you meet in your whole life. But I can promise you, that you will meet someone better than me, someone that will love you better and treat you better, someone that can understand you better. I really don’t want you to meet someone like me ever again; not in this life or next life. 

One day I’ll be standing on the aisle in someone’s hand and I don’t want you to miss the happiest time of my life, because if you didn’t give up on me, I will never be able to find and meet my forever love, the one that will love me just the way I am.

My wishes…

Posted: May 31, 2017 in Life, Love

All I want is to have someone that has the same heart with me. Someone that will love me forever. Someone that doesn’t cheat, but loyal till the end. I just want someone to love and be loved at the same time. I don’t want to keep coming back to someone is no longer mine and stop loving me. All I want is to have someone that can always be there for me emotionally and physically. Someone that make me as his first priority. Someone that will never ignore me no matter what. I want someone that afraid to lose me. Once I found my forever love, I’ll give all of me and love him in the most wonderful way I know. I want a permanent happiness. I don’t want a temporary relationship or happiness. I want my next relationship to be my last relationship.

p.s.: Gary didn’t know about us. Everything about us will remain secret forever.